Pointing to ask: how the skill grows from 12 to 20 months
Pointing to ask means pointing to request something or to get help, such as pointing at the cup on the counter. It is one of the first ways a toddler makes choices known without crying.
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Pointing to ask: the ladder, step by step
Pick the step that looks most like your child today. The next step and activities that practise it appear below.
No step picked yet. There is no wrong answer: pick the closest one.
Next step: Whole-hand point. Points an open hand at the cup on the counter.
Activities that fit this step
- Two-Choice Snack Pick · 12–18 months · 5–10 min
- Bubble Squat-and-Pop · 12–24 months · 3–8 min
- Snack Signs: More and All Done · 13–22 months · 5–15 min
Next step: Finger point. Points with the index finger at what they want.
Activities that fit this step
- Two-Choice Snack Pick · 12–18 months · 5–10 min
- Bubble Squat-and-Pop · 12–24 months · 3–8 min
- Snack Signs: More and All Done · 13–22 months · 5–15 min
Next step: Points and checks. Points, then looks at your face to see if you got it.
Activities that fit this step
- Snack Signs: More and All Done · 13–22 months · 5–15 min
- Clear Tub Ask for Help · 14–22 months · 3–8 min
- Egg Carton Latch Surprise · 17–25 months · 4–10 min
Next step: Points and says. Points at the bananas and says "nana".
Activities that fit this step
- Clear Tub Ask for Help · 14–22 months · 3–8 min
- Egg Carton Latch Surprise · 17–25 months · 4–10 min
- Bubble Jar Twist and Blow · 22–36 months · 5–10 min
Top of the ladder (points and says). Keep it flexible: offer it in a new place, with a different person or with new materials.
Activities that fit this step
- Clear Tub Ask for Help · 14–22 months · 3–8 min
- Egg Carton Latch Surprise · 17–25 months · 4–10 min
- Bubble Jar Twist and Blow · 22–36 months · 5–10 min
The pointing to ask ladder
5 steps from the first sign to a flexible skill, covered here from 12 to 20 months. Children move at their own pace: use the steps to see what comes next, not as deadlines.
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Reaches and fusses
Stretches an open hand toward a toy and whines.
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Whole-hand point
Points an open hand at the cup on the counter.
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Finger point
Points with the index finger at what they want.
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Points and checks
Points, then looks at your face to see if you got it.
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Points and says
Points at the bananas and says "nana".
When pointing to ask usually shows up
Pointing to ask for something or to get help is a CDC 15-month milestone. It often starts as reaching and grunting before the index finger takes over.
This page follows pointing to ask from 12 to 20 months, a window that spans the 12-month, 15-month and 18-month CDC checklists.
In the library, 6 activities practise pointing to ask (1 as their main skill), for ages 12 to 36 months. 2 of them need no prep and take 10 minutes or less. By age, they sit closest to steps 2, 4 and 5 of the 5-step ladder.
Related items appear on the CDC checklists for 15 months.
Related milestones
CDC checklist items (paraphrased) that involve pointing to ask. Checklists are for monitoring, not a test.
| Checklist | Milestone |
|---|---|
| 15 months | Uses pointing to ask for a thing they want or for help. |
Activities that practise pointing to ask
Placed on the closest ladder step by age. By primary domain: 2 language, 1 cognitive, 1 fine motor, 1 gross motor and 1 practical life. Quickest to start: Bubble Squat-and-Pop (3–8 minutes).
Step 2: Whole-hand point
Step 4: Points and checks
Step 5: Points and says
Skills practised alongside
The activities for pointing to ask most often also work on gestures and signs (3), finger feeding (2), problem solving (2), finding hidden objects (1) and squatting to play (1). Pairing them keeps practice playful: one activity, several skills.
Practise it inside everyday routines
- Keep a few favorites in sight but out of reach so asking has a purpose.
- Hold up two choices and wait for a point.
- When your child points, name the thing and hand it over: "Banana! Here's the banana."
What to avoid
- Guessing every need before your child shows it; leave small moments to ask.
When to mention it to the pediatrician
If your child does not point to ask for things or help by 15 months, mention it to the pediatrician, who can look at communication more closely.
Worried about pointing to ask between visits? Call the pediatrician; CDC's free resources also explain how to contact your local Early Intervention program directly. Milestones are for monitoring, not diagnosis.
Frequently asked questions
When do toddlers start pointing to ask?
Pointing to ask for something or to get help is a CDC 15-month milestone. It often starts as reaching and grunting before the index finger takes over. The first step to look for: stretches an open hand toward a toy and whines.
How can I help my toddler with pointing to ask?
Keep a few favorites in sight but out of reach so asking has a purpose. Hold up two choices and wait for a point. A good first activity is Two-Choice Snack Pick (12–18 months).
What should I avoid when practising pointing to ask?
Guessing every need before your child shows it; leave small moments to ask.
When should I mention pointing to ask to the pediatrician?
If your child does not point to ask for things or help by 15 months, mention it to the pediatrician, who can look at communication more closely. You can also contact Early Intervention yourself.
Related
Monitoring, not medical advice. Talk to your pediatrician about any concern. Our sources and method.